Why be ’embarrassed’ with our parents?
An old man,
staying in a small south Indian town came to visit his son in Mumbai
recently. The son in his early thirties is a successful businessman
living with his wife and son. The father, having spent most of his life
at his birthplace, hardly understands Hindi English, Marathi. But he
doesn’t care. ‘I have come here to spend a few days with my son and his
family. I don’t have to go out and socialize with the city people,’ he
said.
But the son is very excited about his father’s
rare visit to Bombay. He wants to make the best of it. He and his wife
want to show him around the city. And yes, the son enjoys those evening
hours too, when he and his father go out and sit in a good bar, sipping
their favourite drink.
Last week he told his father
‘Let’s go to a five star hotel’s bar tonight’. It was a beautiful
evening. Talking about everything under the sun they had a few drinks.
As usual they were offered some salad, peanuts, wafers etc. as
accompaniments with their drinks. The old man being almost toothless was
not much interested in eating. But that day when they got up to leave,
he simply took a handful of chana (roasted grams) and stuffed it in the
fold of his dhoti. He might have thought about munching on them,
sitting in the car.
Unfortunately while walking in the
lobby, he missed a step and stumbled. Down he went, scattering the
channa on the plush carpet.
No problem. Now try to
visualize that scenario. Someone else in his son’s place would have been
mortified, embarrassed to death. He might have cursed not his father
but his own self for causing this awkward situation. Never again will I
take my old man to such hotels’, he would have vowed.
No
sir, not this son. Gently, with a smile, he helped his father get back
on his feet. Instead of feeling irritated or angry, he was amused. He
found the whole incident very funny. Laughing, they both went home and
on the way they decided to return to the same place the following
Sunday. The old man liked the place and liked the chana too.
A few days ago, at a friend’s place they both described this event and made everybody laugh.
Weren’t
you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son. ‘Oh, come on now’ replied the
son. ‘He is my father. He talks in his native language, prefers to wear a
dhoti even to a posh city hotel, takes channa from the bar to eat
later, does whatever he feels like…So what?
Why
should I feel embarrassed with his nature and habits? Nobody has a right
to stop him from doing whatever he feels comfortable with, as long as
it is not harmful to others.’
The son doesn’t care what
the staff in the hotel thought about that incident. He says ‘they
should be concerned only with their bills and tips. I am concerned about
my father’s happiness.’ The wife too totally agrees with the husband on
this issue. She feels there are enough other qualities in her father-
in- law to feel proud of. Accept them.
The above
incident is not mentioned just to show the love and devotion of a son
for his father. More than love it is a matter of understanding and a
healthy respect for the other person’s lifestyle.
A
seventy plus old man doesn’t want to change his lifestyle now. He likes
the way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is nothing wrong
with the old ways of living. And the son says, ok, fine. Everybody has a
right to live as per his wish. Now at his age, why should he be forced
to learn to eat with a fork and knife, if he doesn’t want to? I will
feel bad if he is doing something morally wrong or indulging in some
harmful activities. But otherwise it is fine. I am not going to try to
change him at this stage. He is my father. I love him, respect him.
Hey
folks, can you think this way? So many times we see people getting
embarrassed by the so called unsophisticated behaviour of their family
members. They keep on apologizing about their lack of class and manners
or about their drawbacks to outsiders.
“My wife can’t
speak proper English; she doesn’t know what’s happening in the world, so
I avoid taking her out or introducing her to my friends and business
associates”
“My parents can’t eat with a spoon and fork, so I don’t take them to restaurants”
“My husband is working as an ordinary clerk, so I feel awkward when I introduce him to my rich friends.”
“My brother is mentally challenged, so I don’t feel like going out with him”
And
many more…Are you plagued with such thoughts or do you meet such people
who think alike? If you do, please ask yourself. Why do others or I
feel this way? Really what is there to feel ashamed of? Most of the
people always have this fear of other peoples’ opinions and comments.
What would others say? Don’t Bother!!
And why worry about a speck in the eye of a brother when you have a board in your own? (Mt 7:3)
*******************************************************
Love And Respect Your Old Parents !
A son took his old father to a restaurant for an evening dinner. Father
being very old and weak, while eating, dropped food on his shirt and trousers. Other diners watched him in disgust while his son was
calm.
After
he finished eating, his son who was not at all embarrassed, quietly
took him to the wash room, wiped the food particles, removed the stains,
combed his hair and fitted his spectacles firmly. When he came out, the
entire restaurant was watching them with dead silence, not able to
grasp how someone could embarrassed themselves publicly like that. The son settled the bill and started walking out with his father.
At
that time; an old man amongest the diners called out to the son and
asked him, "Don't you think you have left something behind." The son replied, "No sir, I haven't." The old man retorted, "Yes, you have! You have left a lesson for every son and hope for every father". The restaurant went silent.
We,
the children of old parents have to slow down to catch up their pace,
as they slowed down to catch up our speed when we were learning to walk.
They washed our stained clothes and cleaned our dirt when we were
infant. We need to do the same for them in their old age, never be ashamed in taking them out publicly for any function. Our time will also
come someday to experience the same. Respect and love them more in
their old age.
The care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honours.
************************************
Love Your Parents
After his father's death, the Son decided to leave his mother at an old age home and visited her on and off.
Once he received a call from the old age home. Your mom is very serious please come and visit her.
So the son went and saw that his mom was very critical and on her dying bed.
He asked: Mom what can I do for you.
Mom
replied : "Please install fans in the old age home, as there are none.
Also put a fridge for betterment of food because many times I slept
without food".
The son was surprised and asked : Mom,
while you were here you never complained, but now you have few hours
left and you are telling me all this, why?
Mom
replied : "It's OK dear, I've managed with the heat, hunger and pain,
but when your children will send you here, I am afraid you will not be
able to manage !
******************************************************
