Take your need for forgiveness to the Cross
Take your need for forgiveness to the Cross. How do we betray
Christ? By our selfishness. Let's look at the motives of Judas in today's
Gospel passage. Why did he betray Jesus despite experiencing his unconditional
love for three years?
We know that Judas was selfish, because we know that he had embezzled donations (see John 12:6). Intent on finding "what's in it for me?" he wanted Jesus to become a messiah who would deliver him from Roman oppression. Jesus turned out to be quite an uncontrollable disappointment. Judas was so blinded by his own strategies that he could not fathom the possibility that God might have a better idea.
We know that Judas was selfish, because we know that he had embezzled donations (see John 12:6). Intent on finding "what's in it for me?" he wanted Jesus to become a messiah who would deliver him from Roman oppression. Jesus turned out to be quite an uncontrollable disappointment. Judas was so blinded by his own strategies that he could not fathom the possibility that God might have a better idea.
Self-centered people like Judas don't like to sit idly by and
accept disappointment. When he decided to take control by turning Jesus over to
the Jewish authorities, he asked, "What are you willing to give me if I
hand him over to you?" Until they promised a reward, handing Jesus over
was still an IF. No wonder Judas committed suicide! He was unable to recognize
the forgiveness that Jesus made available to him, because at the heart of every
self-centered person is the belief that they are unworthy of being loved.
Selfishness comes from the notion that if I don't take care of myself, no one
else will (not even God!) because I don't really deserve it.
Are you ever disappointed that Jesus is not what you want him to
be for you? We all fall into this "what's in it for me" trap whenever
we're upset that God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want him to, or when
we give our problems to Jesus and life doesn't get easier, or when he asks us
to do something that's difficult and unrewarding.
We fall into the "what's in it for me" trap whenever we search for our own solutions after trusting in God and not getting the results we want. We succumb to it by listening to our self-protective fears. Selfishness tells us to protect our wishes, our happiness, our comfort zone, our possessions and our life style. It blinds us to the possibility that God might have a better idea.
We fall into the "what's in it for me" trap whenever we search for our own solutions after trusting in God and not getting the results we want. We succumb to it by listening to our self-protective fears. Selfishness tells us to protect our wishes, our happiness, our comfort zone, our possessions and our life style. It blinds us to the possibility that God might have a better idea.
Like Judas, in our selfishness we betray Jesus. We profess to
trust him as the Lord of our lives, and yet our self-serving choices prove
otherwise. We believe in him only when it suits our purposes. We adore him only
when it's easy.
The question is not "Have I betrayed Jesus?" but "How quickly do I seek his forgiveness after I betray him?" Peter betrayed Jesus, too, but he loved Jesus so much that his selfishness lasted only a little while.
The question is not "Have I betrayed Jesus?" but "How quickly do I seek his forgiveness after I betray him?" Peter betrayed Jesus, too, but he loved Jesus so much that his selfishness lasted only a little while.
Today's step forward on the Lenten journey: Imagine that you're
sitting with the disciples at the Last Supper. Jesus has just dipped his matzah
into the spice dish, and he hands it to you. He's looking you in the eye. He
knows your heart. He loves you despite all your betrayals. What will you say to
him? Admit your betrayal; receive his smile. He will now take your sins to the
cross with him. Remember to do this at every Mass, because the liturgy
transcends time to connect us to the real Last Supper.
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